a poem about what it's like to have depression

The Dragon

I wish

I wish that I had: Cancer,Diabetes,AIDS.

Typhoid, Yellow,Scarlet, Black.A fever so deadly,From which there's no turning back.

I wish that I’d gunshots,Or stab wounds,Garrotte.For those earn:Compassion,Empathy, Patience,calm.

But I have THE DRAGON, It rips, and feeds, and shreds. It scares off salvation,
I’ve suffered, I’ve bled.

When it comes on full force, When it’s drags me down, To Here. The compassion’s replaced By anger, disgust, and fear.

For if I had Cancer, Diabetes, Or AIDS, Would people anger At the mess that those made?
Would they avoid me, Lose patience, Show rage? Or stay near? Compassionate, Sage.

The latter I think, Is clearly most true, But I have THE DRAGON, And that frightens you.

They think that you’re Fine, ‘Just cheer up, don’t whine!’ But it tears you apart, It’s invisible.
Mine.

It paints Brightest Days, A pallor - grey. Reduces Great peaks, And levels them away.

It steals My past, The parts NOT black and doom. It steals off with memories. Leaves an
empty room.

It ravages all, With no easy cure. And because There’s no rot, They blame you, For sure.

I wish it were Tangible. Sorely I do. It could then do the thing, THE DRAGON wants me to.

And you’d not be angry, Or hate me, Or curse. Because any other death, Would be tragic,
But far less worse.

Do people shun the smoker, With Cancer in their lungs? The lover who’s embraced, H.I.V.?
Hate them,
or the disease?

Do they anger, Lose their patience? When the afflicted say: ”Listen, please, I hurt…..”
Do they tell those victims: ”Come on get over it” “You know, It could be worse.” ?

Until you feel THE DRAGON Rend you deeply, Sear with flames, You’ll never really know,
How it is. Decades rife, With pain. That wracks your mind and body, And doesn’t leave a stain.
A disease that can talk to you, Convince you - You’re lost. One that makes you toxic
To yourself. Inside your hell, You’re lost.

Against yourself It turns yourself, Your most trusted friend, …Your enemy.

Malaria I wish it was, Delirium So sweet. No one in anger, Curses me, Free of pain, Finally at peace.

But I have The Dragon. I’m not allowed Release.

I Wish…….It would just leave me be.
I wish........

*(not writing by me)*